We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
