we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
