oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
