WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
