i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
