I heard we made out
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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