Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
