It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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