Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
