I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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