Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
