My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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