plz talk dirty to me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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