If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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