i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
