He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
