I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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