Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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