I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
