Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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