Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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