Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
