There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
