Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet he comes in French.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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