BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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