I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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