If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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