Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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