He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
