So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
