all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
