grandma shit on top of the toilet
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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