you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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