I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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