I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
