No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
