I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
