No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
