similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize