Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
