who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
