did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We need to get me chipped asap
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
