Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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