You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
third nipple confirmed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
