I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
