She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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