I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
