we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
