I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
