meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
