We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
