Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
