Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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